By Myles Palmer
I switched off Des Lynham at 7.26 pm on Saturday night.
I would have liked to see Michael Owen’s two goals in the second match but The Premiership gave me a headache.
It was the worst football highlights programme I have seen in my entire life.
Starring Nike, Coca Cola and Terry Venables,three famous brands that I loathe and detest.
Ten minutes of football, six minutes of commercials, ten minutes of studio plus Andy Townsend talking to boring baseball-capped Ugo Ehiogu in the OB truck?Are TV producers on drugs these days? How do these people get such important jobs?
I just sat there moaning for 26 minutes, saying that ITV used to do football better than the BBC. For decades they did it better.Then they lost the plot competely.
What did I think of the ten minutes they showed from Middlesbrough 0 Arsenal 4?
Well, ref Graham Barber was clueless.Parlour should not have been sent off, and the Ehiogu-Cole incident should not have been a penalty or a red card.
I was very surprised that Arsenal took 43 minutes to score against that lot. A ball was cleared, hit a defender, went to Thierry Henry, who chested it down neatly and volleyed into the corner with great aplomb – a supercool finish and one reminiscent of Batistuta, a striker Thierry likes a lot.
Second goal wasn’t a penalty, but Pires buried it beautifully.
The two Bergkamp finishes were exact, slick, classy, like the DB of late 1997.
Maybe Dennis is the new Sheringham.For the first time in his life Dennis is starting a season knowing he may be on the bench more often that he starts. He hates that.
But he may have adjusted to it now. So he can come on and get straight into the game, maybe. That is not easy.He said he does not find it easy. We shall see more, perhaps on Tuesday night, when Arsenal are at home to Leeds.
It’s 7.48 pm now. I never get headaches. Haven’t had a headache since I last drank red wine three years ago. But The Premiership gave me a headache as quickly as red wine. And – I have to say this – NO OTHER TV SHOW HAS EVER GIVEN ME A HEADACHE !
However, here is the good news : My headache is clearing nicely already. I will never watch The Premiership again. G’night!
18th August 2001.