New TSF is most compelling football book since Zlatan

His wife has written the Foreword.

Why? Because he’s finally produced the book she wanted him to write.

She says this one gives her closure.

It’s raw, funny, insightful and unputdownable – I love it .

The Secret Footballer’s Access All Areas is the most compelling football book since I Am Zlatan.

He supports Spurs, likes Aston Villa and Eddie Howe, loves Niall Quinn, explains Tony Pulis’s niche , talks scathingly about pundits, tell us what Mourinho learned from Sir Alex, and reveals loads of things we didn’t know because we’ve never played.

He’s very good on the templates used by different clubs.

About three years ago a well-connected journalist told me that the Southampton scouts who sift the nine-year-olds are told to look for two things: intelligence and pace.

TSF confirms this and says they’ve been allowed to open a satellite academy in Bath.

These samples will give you a taste :

SOUTHAMPTON They just go out and look for kids who are fast and who are clever enough to be willing to learn, and they add the football bits later. Get them young enough while their enthusiasm knows no bounds and that can be all you need.

WATFORD The raw ingredients are simple ; power, fight, physicality, strength, will-to-win, skill and pace. Sounds obvious, but the standout point is that you don’t have to employ the very best to be successful.

SWANSEA Not long after the turn of the century, less than 15 years ago in other words, Swansea were twice sold for the sum of £1, and at one stage sat bottom of the 92 teams in the league.

SUNDERLAND are crying out for a ruthless experienced manager who has the balls to kick out half the playing squad and replace them with cheaper, hungrier players.

LIVERPOOL To my mind Liverpool are our Real Madrid, our Bayern Munich, our AC Milan.They are England’s premier club.

STEVEN GERRARD’s range of passing is twice that of Xabi Alonso – the passes are accurate, and delivered with authority.

THE FRENCH When it comes to throwing the toys out of the pram in football, the French are world leaders. I’ve seen French players hijack the goodwill and ambitions of an entire squad for reasons that most of us would simply shrug off – outrage, for example, at having to come in on a Sunday to cool down, or being asked to play a reserve game for a little extra fitness. And they are as one: they stick together. If one feels wronged, they all feel wronged.

ADEBAYOR I can’t take seeing another ‘couldn’t give a fuck’ performance from Emmanuel Adebayor, a player who had everything – and I mean everything – and traded it for the good life.

These 330 entertaining pages cover every aspect : crazy wages, scumbag chairmen and ghastly agents, dimwit fathers, materialistic groupies, divorce, Ibiza, disgusting tabloid media and super-injunctions.

Access All Areas is the book that nobody else had the balls to write.

Watch out for his moment with Gareth Bale, and his take on the Ched Evans court case.

Enjoy the Kindle or paperback: